Time Has Flown By

whoa.. I haven't written in here for a long while. Well, what has happened hmm?? Well the cross country team had a car wash on Saturday. It went pretty well, if I do say so myself. So many cars! @.@ I didn't think they'd ever stop coming... I got a mean-ass sunburn, but it's getting better now since I took care of it =) a lot of people got sunburns yea...that was pretty fun..

Well, 3 weeks of summerschool has gone by. Another 3 weeks is all that we have left to go. My family's decided to go to Mexico this summer, for about 4 days or so. I'm not sure where in Mexico..we can't decide between Cancun(sp?) and Cabazon Lucas (sp?). But yea, hope it's fun!

You know, I really can't wait for running camp this year!! hope it'll be fun!! Yup. So yea, I've decided to be happy with what I have in life right now. I took a few days off of xc just to get my health back up. I caught a bit of a cold that made me feel like I was dying. I'm going back to practice today. yea...

I know that, it's hard to admit when you're hurt or when you need time off. I know it's hard for me especially. I hate the fact that, I know I'm hurt but I'll deny it just because I'm so stupid. I just, don't want the drama that comes with injuries and such. I've always gotten injured, and I've been getting injured again, and I'm afraid to say anything because I don't want people to think that I'm just saying that I'm hurt and that I'm faking it. I don't want to go through that, cause I know some people had to deal with that drama before. That's why I keep pushing myself. Unfortunately, I have to pay the consequences of my actions and decisions. And the price is my own health status and happiness.

I know that, running is something that you do. It's notlike the end of the world if I don't run or something. It's just that running is important to me, I guess it's hard to give up something you love and care about deeply. But sometimes I ask myself, is it worth all of the pain I put myself through? Most of the time I say yes it is, and some days I feel like quitting. But the thing is, I'm not a quitter, I've never really been a quitter and I'm not going to start now.

I remember in track, it was really hard for me to admit that I was injured, until I actually got injured to the point where I had to take time off. I would push myself so hard to the point where, I'd cry after almost every race, because it'd hurt so much. Although, other people may think different things about me, I know that I do the things I do because that's how important it is to me. I worked really hard, like so many others, to get where I was at. I pushed myself so I would get what I want...but, some days, I'd go home and I'd wake up the next morning and find myself not being able to walk. Or I'd be walking home and it'd take me almost an hour, even though it takes me 20 minutes on other days.

I don't want to be hurt to the point where I can't walk anymore and such. I do want to push myself, but I am afraid of doing so. But sometimes, I just don't care anymore and I do it anyways, but instead I hurt myself even more by doing so. I don't know what to do, I feel so confused sometimes, and I put so much stress on myself although I shouldn't.. I really shouldn't.

It's summertime..it's time to enjoy what I have and relax.

So yea.. let's stop talking about running and stuff


currently I've been working on a new site. Come check it out sometime..click here. It's still under major construction..but yea.. hehe..come and visit the site and IM me and tell me what you think. =) anyways.. I'm going to go..bye!