Sacrifices

Tomorrow's the 4th of July. Yet another year's gone by and the tradition continues to live on. I'm going to be seeing a lot of people that I haven't seen in a while.

-Stella, my coolest godsister, I miss you and love you. =) Stevie, I still don't understand how your pocket fell out. -

I'm not sure if Caroline, Andrew, and Christine are coming. It's been so long since I've last seen them. And yea, I'll be seeing Dennis..but then it'll be the last time before he goes off the China and trains his ass off for about 2 months. Crazy ass shiet. I admire him greatly for that. I don't have the guts to do something like that.

Moving on to other news...

Okay, so with my previous problems that I've been having. I've decided to let go of them. Why? Merely because it's causing me more pain than what I care to endure. I'm tired of crying because of them. And they don't even realize the pain they have inflicted upon me. I just must accept the changes that has occurred and try to just go with Life..and try to relax for once.

This summer, I really want to have fun. Mainly because during the school year I rarely get the chance to. And summertime is always the best time of the year. =)


I thought that I had decided to let go of one other thing.. err..person...I guess. But with my current status..I don't know if I want to do that just yet. But I know I should, because it isn't fair to that person nor to me, if I continue to hold on to something that I may end up losing either way. I don't want to get close to him, or to anybody for that matter. I don't like the feeling of knowing that someone's so close to me, and that they're just going to leave my life either way. Because they always do.. everyone leaves.. they'll always leave.

Anyways, I've decided to try and not think about the situation right now. I know I shouldn't even try bringing up my feelings towards him. It isn't fair, and I don't want to cause him any more pain than what he's already endured. If I could, I'd much rather endure that pain for him. But I can't.. I guess I could say it so easily...well want it so easily. The pain that is. I guess, because I've always thought that pain came easily to me especially. So why not endure it..when your life has always been that way. I rather be hurt, rather than cause him any more pain.

but hey..that's life. Sometimes we have to sacrifice our desires in order to keep holding on to something that maybe you shouldn't. But, I'm willing to risk it..and for what? Because, without risks..we'll never learn to fall and get up again.

But I have fallen so many times before. Am I willing to fall once again?

I feel like a lost bird in a storm, separated from its flock. Now I'm in some foreign place with broken wings..and no one around to care.

I never expected them to..

I guess that's how I've been feeling lately.. and I don't know. I have to learn to deal with my emotions..keep them intact..and perhaps not expose myself to people as much as I have this past week.

Either way..I just wanted to thank all the people who've been here for me. Especially to Annie, Mimi, and Susan. You three have been here for me a lot lately. In a time of need, when I couldn't even go to others, you guys were here for me. And that means a lot. I could not thank you guys enough. I love you guys!! =)


I guess not everything's gone so terribly wrong..