This Life

Life is a crazy thing. It can be so beautiful/amazing/heartwarming/memorable/painful/sorrowful/
hateful/unloving/caring...!!!! It's just so much collaborated into one thing. It's everything and nothing at the same time. It's.. Life.

I've come to the conclusion that one should live life regardless of anything. As I look back at the things in the past I can't help but to cry and laugh at the same time. So many good times, and so many bad times. All of it mean so much to me. Perhaps without the bad times, people wouldn't be able to appreciate the good times as much. It makes us thankful, and grateful for what we have in our lives. It gives people hope. The kind of hope that just makes it seem like there's no time like the present, and tomorrow will always be a better day.


Perhaps I am just simply optimistic at this time, because I've been having great days lately...especially today. Oh gosh, just thinking about today just makes me want to smile and laugh and cry all at the same time. It's just all so crazy. A mixture of everything...

I was glad that I was a part of the scheme for Roo's surprise party. It was a lot of fun, that's for sure. Sometimes I forget that it's okay to laugh and smile. It's okay to enjoy yourself and just be yourself. I miss hanging out with a lot of my friends. I had a great time catching up with Julius, and it was cool to meet Juju. She's awesome, no wonder so many people speak so highly of her.

I got to hang out with Mandy, who I haven't seen in a long while. I got to hang with Johnny, who I don't get to hang out with that often. Little Timothy is really growing up. Emo was great to be with. There was just so many people there.

Sometimes I feel as though I am so enveloped in my own life, that I forget the company of others. Having those conversations with friends today, I realized how much I've really tried to lock away in the depths of my heart. And even now, I still can't understand as to why I would cry for such things, for if they are in the past they cannot hurt me now. But there is still the memory of a pain once known to me. A pain that burns with such passion, it haunts me.

I have witness so many different emotions in one night. It has made me gain an interest in people once more. Perhaps I do hate people, but that doesn't mean that I can't take an interest in them. The human mind is an amazing thing to me. Tonight, I have witnessed the workings of the mind, and the perception and fear others have relatively gone through. It makes me think...which worries me, for thinking comes with consequences.

Perhaps I shall not think so much anymore. Perhaps I should choose to revel in what happiness I have at this time, for I do not know when it will come again.

Life...an amazing thing...

what will it bring...?

<3 j.L